What do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?

What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself We’ve all probably heard of (and listened to) those little (or obnoxious) voices in our heads that tell us stuff about ourselves. In my experiences with leadership development, training, and coaching (not to mention five years with Weight Watchers), much of the time, those voices are not saying very nice or helpful stuff.

What brought this subject to my attention recently was that I was complaining to my mate about my frustration with not losing a few pounds. I rattled through all the typical (for me) complaints:

  • “I simply can not drink all that water every single day!”
  • “I’m exercising three or four days a week – and it isn’t working!”
  • “I am physically incapable of sitting on the couch to watch a movie or TV show without eating my way through half the pantry!”

And on and on… I won’t bore you with more details. Chances are, you’ve either made similar rants yourself or have listened to them from someone else.

The trouble with these ‘harmless’ statements is that they aren’t so harmless after all.

Negative Talk Actually Lead the Subconscious Mind to Fulfill the Command.

According to Dr. Sham Helmstetter, author of many books, including “What to say when you talk to yourself”, every time we say anything negative to ourselves out loud, or even think it, we are reinforcing what our subconscious mind will in fact do.

So by saying that I am struggling to drink all of my water every day, I am guaranteeing that I will continue to struggle with it. No wonder I’ve been having a hard time with it all these years. I keep training myself to have a hard time with it!

Having reviewed some examples of self-talk in Dr. Helmstetter’s book, and the steps for creating my own, I have been trying it out for the past several days.

I’ve been saying out loud at random moments during the day, “I love drinking water! It makes me feel healthy and alive. I always drink 64 oz of water each day.” A little corny, perhaps, but worth trying. Seriously, what do I have to lose?

This, of course, extends into every nook and cranny of our lives. And it begs the question – what else am I speaking into reality when I declare my faults and shortcomings out loud?

We usually do this to help us feel excused from some behavior that we feel is inadequate or less than desirable. Do any of these ever come out of your mouth, or even wander across your mind?

  • “I’m never going to understand this/him/her.”
  • “I am just not a doer/thinker/go-getter/etc.”
  • “I am lousy at giving presentations. I mess them up every time, and I feel so nervous that I get nauseous.”
  • “I never remember dates/names/birthdays/etc.”

STOP!!!

Replace Destructive Self-Talk with Positive, Uplifting Self-Talk.

The first thing to do is to recognize how destructive this behavior is to your success. You’ve probably heard the saying, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” –Henry Ford. People have understood the power of our thoughts over our ability to be successful for a very long time.

Here are a few simple steps for you to follow in order to try this out yourself:

  1. Identify one or two things that you consistently say out loud or to yourself that are negative. Feel free to borrow any of the examples I’ve laid out here.
  2. Think of something positive with which you could replace that negative statement. It should be a statement of what you want your outcome to be. Dr. Helmstetter recommends stating it in the present tense – a ‘speak it into being’ approach.
  3. Repeat these positive statements to yourself a few times each day.

I have noticed that I’m drinking a lot more water without much thought to it or struggle. I’ve extended this practice into a couple of other areas, and am finding that I just feel better about them. I’m in a better mood overall, and that’s something we could all benefit from, especially in the areas of the world where winter has us in her tight grip right now.

So give it a try! Thanks to all this positive stuff floating around, I am having a great week! And I hope you are, too. If you’re not, it is completely within your control to change it.

If you like this Leadership Tip, Check Out More Below:

  • Diversity and Inclusion Main Topic at E. A. Renfroe Meetings in Savannah
    Around 200 independent insurance adjusters for E. A. Renfroe gathered in Savannah, Georgia for their annual meetings. One of the main concerns of the meeting was the topic of diversity and inclusion. The meeting kicked off with a keynote address on the subject. The main concern of the keynote was not just defining the topic, ...
  • Leadership Lessons from My Garden
    I’m an enthusiastic but lousy gardener. Thankfully, Rick and I don’t depend on my crops for survival. If we did, we’d be very hungry! But even though I’ve made plenty of mistakes while digging in the dirt, I continue to learn and improve. I’ve also seen how my garden offers lessons on improving my resilience, ...
  • 5 Signs it Might be Time to Step Down from a Leadership Role
    It’s not bad to resign from a management or leadership role. By not bad, I mean for the company and yourself. Not so much for your ego though. For some people, there will come a point in their career where they’ll have to come to terms with the reality of the situation. Sometimes, it has ...
Virtual Team Building Activities
Virtual Team Building Activities – Create more of a team culture with your remote teams by offering one of our fun and highly interactive virtual team building activities.
Charity Team Building Events
Charity Team Building Activities – Combine solid team development with corporate social responsibility (CSR) with these fun and emotional charity team building events.
Just for Fun Team Building Activities
Just For Fun – If you just want to reward your team or let them enjoy building camaraderie with each other, try these events. They are designed to get your team laughing and enjoying each others’ company.
Creating a Team Culture
Creating a Team Culture – Choose from over 40 modules to create a custom Team Building workshop
Leadership Training Course
Leadership Training Course – Build the next generation of leaders from within your organization.
Presentation Training
Presentation Skills Training – Reduce public speaking fear and create poised and confident speakers.
Team Assessment
Team Assessment – Identify the strengths and weaknesses of your team and company.

Get a Price

Answer a Few Questions about Your Group for an Accurate Price Quote!

Request a Demo

Schedule a Live Demo to See an Abbreviated Version of a Few Team Activities. (15-30 minutes.) * Calendar Will Open in New Tab.

Contact a Local Office

We Have 23 Offices Worldwide. Click Here to Find an Office Near You.