Part of what makes me a good assistant is that I am a huge planner. I approach every situation with multiple plans. I am always discussing plans with our CEO a couple of months out, I triple check EVERYTHING, and I like to be prepared for every possible scenario. This can make life rather exhausting. I am always so focused on being prepared that I forget to live in the moment. A good example is how I have been planning my wedding. I have been trying so hard to make sure everyone (bridesmaids, family, friends, etc) were happy that I lost sight this day is about me and my future husband. So now I am practicing letting things go and focusing on what is important at the moment. It is incredibly challenging for me but I know I am not the only one in the universe working on this. If you are also on this journey I encourage you to dive into peace with me.
Failing is Not the End of the World
There is a constant pressure that we need to be perfect. Look perfect, have perfect clothes, perfect job, perfect apartment, perfect dog, etc. I for one am guilty of falling into the trap of perfection. God forbid I am human and make a mistake and I beat myself up for days.
Bottom line – I do not want to fail. When I think about some of the things I have gone through there is a part of me that feels like I experienced them because I failed. I failed to plan, prepare, be aware of my surroundings, etc.
Which is definitely not the case. We have all experienced tragedy, heartache, distress, and loss and there was nothing we could have done to change that. It is time for us to start letting things go and to stop being so hard on ourselves.
It is absolutely ok to fail. Not one person on this earth is completely perfect and never failed. Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times at creating a lightbulb before 1 was successful. That was just ONE thing he was working on and he failed 1,000 times. He never stopped pushing forward and neither should we. We learn by failing, we gain courage by getting back up, and we empower when we share our experiences with others.
Excessive Planning is a Desire for Peace
From booking travel for our CEO to feeding my dog on time I stress about every detail in my day. If I mess something up or miss something I beat myself up for days! In the back of my mind, I feel like if I am prepared and do not make mistakes then everything will be ok. Unfortunately, that is not how the world works and it puts so much pressure on me to be perfect. As humans, we were not designed to be perfect. We make mistakes and our minds are not designed to be all-knowing. We can try to achieve artificial peace by planning, stressing, and trying to be prepared but ultimately that peace is very fleeting.
Trying to let go of this idea of perfection has really opened my eyes. I have discovered that my need for excess planning and trying to be perfect is really just a desire for peace. I just want to know that everything will be ok. So the dog eats 30 minutes later than usual or you forget to respond to an email; everything will still be ok. Your dog will not die of starvation for eating a little later and your boss might be a little irritated, but ultimately things will be ok.
Finding Your Peace
If you are looking to start finding more peace in your life, I encourage you to look at all aspects of your life. Friendships, work, responsibilities, and spirituality. You need to surround yourself with people who bring you joy and not suck the joy out of you. If you have a friend that continuously brings you down and cannot be supportive of you it is ok to create some distance there. Focus on your friends that are cheering you on and encouraging you in your journey.
Work can be incredibly stressful and I understand the desire to want to prove yourself. Just remember that the approval of others is not as important as you may think it is. Be yourself and let people see the beautiful light and talent you have inside of you.
I confess that I am the worst about stressing over my responsibilities like paying bills, doing dishes, folding laundry, cooking dinner, etc. I feel like my apartment needs to be Pinterest styled every moment of every day like it isn’t lived in. My apartment is very much lived in and I am working on changing my perspective. Sometimes I get frustrated because my fiance will leave his boots in the middle of the room, but I am grateful that he is home and not overseas. I see the dishes in the sink and instead of getting upset, they were left overnight I remind myself that I was able to have dinner with those I love and spend time with them. The dishes and laundry will be there tomorrow and it is important to pour into the lives around us.
Whether you are spiritual, religious, or none of the above you need to find something that brings you inner peace. I have a friend that pictures the things that are stressing her out like clouds in the sky drifting away in the wind. That is one of the tools she uses to help her achieve peace in her life. Practice your faith, implement positive self-talk, and know that things will be ok even when it does not feel that way.
I know that life can sometimes feel like a complete beat down and you naturally want to overcompensate to protect your heart and emotions. I want to encourage you to start looking at small things and let them go because life is to short to attempt to achieve perfection instead of striving for peace.
The Fearless Millennial